If you wrote a letter to someone you cared about from the perspective of your self-care worst, what would it look like?
Perhaps it would look something like this…
Dear friend,
I am so fortunate to have you in my life! If you follow my example, you too may live a life of self-neglect! Allow me to share my hopes and dreams for you.
I hope you believe the hype about what society considers to be beauty so your self-esteem is in the gutter well after your teenage years.
I hope you take care of everyone first and leave the scraps for yourself so you feel depleted constantly.
I hope you never ask for what you need or want so you never get it.
I hope you eat crappy food regularly so that you get sick easily and remain in a state of lethargy.
I hope you never take vacations and feel the excitement and relaxation that comes with taking a much needed break from your daily life. I encourage you to instead resent others for taking vacations.
I hope you judge others and focus on feeling superior and better than them so that you will be someone no one wants to be around. Ever.
Be sure to ignore your physical health and disregard any health concerns by never going to the doctor or exercising.
Please don’t ever assert your opinion about anything you feel strongly about so that people will treat you like a doormat, and you will believe that your opinion doesn’t matter.
Lose touch with close friends so you will have no one to reach out to when times get tough.
I hope you forget to make time for you and your partner so that your connection feels blah and loveless.
I highly encourage you to numb out on TV and social media for years on end, and never dare to take a risk or step outside of your comfort zone.
I hope you never take sick days when you’re sick and please brag about how much you don’t do for yourself so you can remain a martyr for as long as you’re living.
Follow my example and you too, can live this life!
All my love,
Your dear friend
……….
What would your version of this letter look like? If this was triggering and yes maybe a little dark, pay attention to what areas seemed especially painful and look at this as areas where you can improve your self care journey. Would you want this life for your children/best friend/godchild/grandchild/niece/nephew/partner/spouse? Be an example of self-care by your actions not just your words.
I encourage you write your own letter and see where it takes you. Where you find areas for improvement, be kind to yourself. We are all ever-evolving and learning.
Take care of YOU.
P.S. Please note I got the idea for this letter from the incredible book, “An Invitation to Self-Care” by Tracey Cleantis. If I could make this required reading for everyone I know, I would. So please go buy it! Also big shout out to to her for being so gracious in allowing me to put my own version of this letter out into the blogosphere. Thank you Tracey!
Self-care for Caregivers 